Posts

A Lifelong Dream I’ve always known I wanted kids. I could never quite explain it—it was just something I felt deeply and never questioned. One of my first words was “baby,” and there are countless childhood photos of me happily holding other people’s babies. It seems I knew what I wanted before I even understood it. Waiting for the Right Time Over the years, I babysat whenever I could—mostly for free—simply because I loved it. I spent much of my early twenties waiting for the age when it would finally be “socially acceptable” to have children. And now, in my late twenties it feels like that time has come.I’ve only been married for about six months, but I brought up the topic of kids on our second date. I know that might sound taboo or too forward, but I couldn’t risk not asking early on. ...

Where to Live in Tokyo: Practical Advice for First-Time Movers This article is a bit of a shift from my usual blog entries—rather than personal reflection, I wanted to offer some more practical advice for those navigating their first move in Tokyo. Four moves into my Japan experience, and I can confirm: it doesn’t get less stressful. Finding the right place in Tokyo, with its overwhelming options, is a challenge. For those new to the city, it’s especially daunting. After learning from my own mistakes, here’s what I wish I’d known before moving from Kyushu. ...

Growing Up Without Questioning Identity Growing up in Hawaiʻi as an Asian American, I was part of the ethnic majority. I never had to question my identity—not really—and for that, I know I was incredibly lucky. So when I moved to Japan, I assumed it would be a smooth transition. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but looking back, that assumption was naive. Explaining What “Asian American” Means I never expected that living in Japan would mean repeatedly having to explain what being Asian American actually meant. Yet now, in my ninth year here, I still find myself answering the same questions: ...

The Unexpected Path That Led Me to Japan As I approached my senior year of high school, I debated which colleges to apply to. I planned to apply to the University of Hawaiʻi as a backup—because that’s what everyone did—but I was mainly interested in schools on the West Coast. I could fully imagine myself in Oregon or Washington. There was already a blueprint available, so it was easy to picture myself setting up my dorm room, performing hula at the annual lūʻau, and widening my circle of (most likely Asian American) friends. ...

People always seem to be quite wary about long distance relationships, and for valid reasons. It usually comes down to a cost-benefit analysis; wondering whether the short amount of time you do have together is worth the time spent apart and loneliness and challenges that come with distance. And there is no right answer; there’s just too many unknown variables. The Start of Our Long Distance Relationship But as a stupid 18 year old I didn’t even think twice and I had just accepted it as a chapter of our relationship that we’d just have to get through. I knew that choosing to live abroad in Japan meant that a long distance relationship would be inevitable, but like any naive high schooler I thought that love conquered all. Even though my mom nudged me to break things off before I moved to Japan, I was as stubborn as ever, and even slightly insulted that she would even bring it up. In retrospect I know she was just trying to protect me from the inevitable heartbreak, but I couldn’t see it at the time. ...

The Myth of ‘Finding Yourself’ I got to thinking about what it means to ‘find yourself.’ I naively thought this was something you only had to do once, and once you figured it out, it’d be smooth sailing. I had the typical story arc and I thought I was close to ‘finding myself.’ It had been almost 10 years since I moved to Japan and I had finally moved to the big city, got my first big girl job, and got married. I thought I had it all figured out, and from the outside it must have looked that way. Sure, my job was not easy and I didn’t like it very much, but I thought eventually I’d find my groove. You know, the way they do in the movies right before everything in their lives comes together and they live happily ever after. ...